R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
