Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Randomize