I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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