I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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