booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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