i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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