Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
