i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
