I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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