dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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