as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
