We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
