I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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