I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
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I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
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No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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