took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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