so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
