at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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