omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
