the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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