No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
