grandma shit on top of the toilet
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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