Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
