i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
