Banned from zoo.
Again?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
