All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
