he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The power of my boobs compel you
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
