Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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