tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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