I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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