He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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