It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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