Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
