Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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