I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
