My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
