I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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