lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
