Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
