It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
