Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
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