For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
