I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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