Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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