I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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