We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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