Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
