Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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