Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
