update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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