It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
