its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
