Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
