my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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