The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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