You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
