I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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