dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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