dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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