you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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