I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
