How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
