I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
