You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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